Happy Halloween!

This year for Halloween I'm a demon- muahaha! What's your costume?

 

Nudes

Photos by Travis McKeithan. The more I work with nudity, semi and full, the more comfortable I become with myself. It's a great side effect. I think it has something to do with the vulnerability and absolute trust in my followers as I post them online. That's why I adore you all and have to thank you sincerely for all of your support.

Glorifying Obesity

This week I got a comment on my tumblr blog asking if it "glorified obesity" and, worse, claiming that it was "like a pro ana site, but the opposite". *Sigh*. Do I have to keep going over this with people? Yes, apparently so because it will never stop. I know this from what I've seen from other fat activists who have been doing this far longer than I have. The accusation that speaking out for body acceptance is glorifying obesity is a tactic used by pretty much every fatphobe in the book. And not just fat people either. Glorifying has been used in the form of "you're just trying to be superior" against women, against african americans, and against pretty much every marginalized group.

Here's the thing, glorifying obesity, if you pay attention to what the trolls are claiming, is something that you do by simply existing. In the same way I guess I'm glorifying being a woman, being white, being vegan, being a scrapbooker, and being a singer. Who knows what else I'm glorifying over here! More so, it's the act of not being ashamed, not pitying fat people, not hating them or yourself, that glorifies obesity. If that's the definition that we're going with then yeah... yeah I am glorifying obesity and we should do a hell of a lot more glorifying obesity!

As for my blog being like a pro ana site, well, you see the logic they're going with here don't you? All fatties must overeat therefore it's an eating disorder because, you know, all fat people are alike. This is what bigots do with every group they choose to hate. They stereotype and put people in boxes of undesirableness in one way or another. This particular bigot (and many others like them) chooses to hide behind health (because over eating means you're automatically unhealthy, didn't you know that?). But the rub is, of course, that not all fat people are over eaters and some thin people are. They are literally ignoring and pushing aside every thin person who suffers from BED (binge eating disorder). They also ignore every ED that any fat person does have that isn't BED. To them the world is black and white- at least when it comes to fatties. They steal our humanity, our individuality, and shove us in cages labeled lazy, unhealthy, overeaters, greedy. To be clear- Being Fat Is NOT An Eating Disorder. Not anymore than being thin is an eating disorder by itself. Fat people don't all share the same behaviors, thought processes, lifestyle choices, or anything else for that matter.

So go forth, glorify yourself and glorify obesity. Because hate is more of a choice than weight will ever be.

Black Tulle

Photos by photographer Travis McKeithan. I love love love doing shoots with my black tulle skirt. This may be one of my favorite shoots that I've done with Travis so far. I've also really been enjoying doing these shoots with no makeup. Enjoy!

This last photo is my favorite! Which one is yours?

Inside this fat girl is another fat girl

They say, inside every fat girl is a thin girl waiting to get out.
No.
Inside this fat girl is another fat girl.
A fat girl who lies, bruised and broken
because of the abuse hurled at her by people
trying to get the imaginary thin girl out.
Her, my, our,
abundant rolls and luscious thighs
defied them and mocked them
and oh the tantrum they threw.
"just kill yourself!" they'd cry.
But I refused.
Instead I chose to love myself, to adore myself
and every inch of imperfection of flesh.
To rally those around me to love themselves too.
It's how we choose-
to live, to work to play-
every day
in these bodies so... round and large and offensive to you.
Because loving ourselves is better
better than what we had
better than what we were.
So don't tell me there's a thin girl inside of me.
I know what's inside of me.
And she's perfect just the way we are.

For the Love of Bubbles

Another great set from photographer Travis McKeithan.  As usual we started out clothed and then got naked. I really love how the bubbles all look like glass orbs floating in front of me. I should add that I haven't been feeling that great lately. I've been dealing with a lot of depression this past week and it's made it difficult to look at photos of myself and especially difficult to post them. But it also helps me face myself and your support helps me realize my worth. Every time someone tells me that I helped them in some way it makes everything so worth it. So thank you all.

The Image of Self

Photos by Travis McKeithan, again, we did a lot of photos this day so I've separated them into groups. Working with Travis is always a pleasure and so laid back and easy. And I'm so excited for our upcoming project in November as well as where we're planning on taking that project- but you'll just have to wait and find that out for yourself. I encourage you to take a look at Travis's website. Again, as with our last shoot, these are all done free of makeup.

This photo and the next represent self esteem and the way it can often turn quickly.

Out, damned spot!

Points for you if you recognize the quote. This is the final set from the shoot with photographer Travis McKeithan.

***Trigger Warning for blood and self injury***

Many of you may not know that I struggled with self injury for over a decade. I haven't relapsed for about two years now, but it's still something I deal with on a regular basis. If you or someone you love deals with self injury, please check out the website TWLOHA (to write love on her arms). It has fantastic resources including a blog, online store, resources to find help, and more. SI is a serious issue that effects people regardless of age, gender, race, income level, or any other characteristic.

No, it's not real blood, it's completely fake. This is one of my favorite sets.. maybe I'm a gore girl at heart, or maybe I just really enjoyed doing something completely different! Enjoy!

By the way, fake blood tastes absolutely disgusting.

This last photo was the inspiration for the title. ;)

Happy Love Your Body Day

Today is NOW foundation's Love Your Body Day. A day to fight back against media representations of women and men, to fight back against body hate of all kinds, and to even, or maybe especially, fight negative thoughts from yourself. The way we see women depicted is often streamlined to fit a very narrow type of beauty ideal that typically includes being super thin, having perfect hair, teeth, and eyes, being white or fair skinned, cis, able bodied, being tall, and having the perfect breasts, ass, hips, etc. It's an unfair, degrading, and harmful scam to make you buy products and sell yourself like they sell these women as if they were objects. And men, more and more, are having a hard time too. We're seeing a rise in eating disorders among young boys for example. Though women are two and a half times more likely to develop an eating disorder, about one million men in the US suffer from some form.

The point is that none of us are immune to body hate. So take a moment out of today to stop trash talking your body and other bodies. No matter what kinds of bodies they are- thin, curvy, gangly, chubby, fat, dis/abled, cis, trans, male, female- all bodies are good bodies. Push aside your self doubts and all of the things you hate about your body and take a second to just appreciate it and all that it does for you. Take a second to just Love Your Body. And please don't forget to visit the NOW foundation's website!

Flowers for Heather

These photos are still from my shoot with Travis McKeithan.. I told you they'd have to be in sets! Do you see how distinct each set is? And wait until you see the last set, which is my favorite. If you go back to my last post, you'll read how difficult it is for me to post nude photos, especially since I've gotten some pretty cruel trolling from the previous nude sets I posted by Dan Smith. So please enjoy and realize that it's no piece of cake bringing you this kind of body positivity.

This is still harder than it looks

I know, doing a nude shoot should be easier the second time around, right? Well, it's not the shoot that's the problem. In fact, Travis McKeithan was easy and a pleasure to work with. The trouble is posting those photos online to be judged, critiqued, and yes, trolled. It takes a huge amount of courage to pose nude and and even larger amount of courage to let people see those photos. Although I had these photos up on flickr for several days before posting them here, I still find myself nervous.

To look directly at your un airbrushed naked body through someone else's eyes is both fascinating and terrifying. More so, it led me to the conclusion that there's simply not enough fat people art. And I don't mean size 12 fat, I mean rolls and cellulite fat. I mean fat like me and fatter than me  and I mean so far beyond the thin beauty ideal that you can't even pretend it's socially acceptable. I'm not curvy, I'm not plump, I'm mot a pinup model with an hourglass figure and a tiny waist. I'm fat and I want to see more fat people. So here we go, a deep breath, and some beautiful (makeup free, all natural) photographs from Travis.