As a fat acceptance activist, I am not immune to body woes. Especially as I struggle with bipolar, including paranoia and anxiety, I'm constantly aware of not only what the world around me may be thinking, but I'm pretty darn convinced that they're thinking those things at me most of the time. It's rare that I can go out in public and feel smokin hot when I understand that most of the people around me view me as gross and ugly. I worry what my lover thinks and I worry what my family thinks, especially as they all constantly go on diet after diet to lose weight, I worry what my friends think, and I worry what society thinks.
I worry. A lot.
It's nice to think those that we look up to have no issues of their own. That they're strong and powerful and perfect. I know that's how I feel about my heroes. I'd like to think that I am that to other people, to some of you. But the truth is that we're all human and we all have those days. You know the ones.
And maybe that's why I've hit a bit of a writer's block about fat acceptance. I know I haven't posted a text post in a while and I apologize for that. If it makes you feel better I'm still making regular posts at fiercefatties.com, but I've neglected my own blog. I just want you to know that I'm working on some things, personally, and knowing that I have so many wonderful fans gives me strength and the motivation to continue improving my self image.
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Dreaming of Wheels
I finally dreamed of myself in a wheelchair . How we view ourselves is often hard. What we think of ourselves, even how we picture ourse...
We are all a "work in progress." No one is perfect. The best that we can do is to endeavor to improve ourselves - in my lexicon, "trying" is equal to "succeeding."
ReplyDeleteFeel free to take your time. Despite your flaws, you're a very brave woman to put yourself out here on the Internet, open to criticism.
I know that I'll be here when you return with a text post. I enjoy your blog, and I wish you the best of luck in your journey of self-improvement! :)
thank you so much. I appreciate every word :)
DeleteZen is absolutely right of course. My sweety Tricia is bp too. Let me point out again, millionth time I'm sure, you are very creative, bright, and gorgeous. A formidable combination!
ReplyDeleteBP is a tough illness to deal with- both for the person who has it and for those who love them so I feel ya. thank you for your support. :) i appreciate it.
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