Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I am FAT

When I say fat I mean fat and sometimes it seems like this word goes completely over people's heads! perhaps it's because we throw it around so liberally. Size 6 models go around saying "does this make me look fat? God, I'm so fat!". Let's gloss over the negative labels that are attached to that or the automatic assumption that it's a bad thing- the way we use fat and how often we use it makes me think that people don't know what it means anymore. What is fat? Well we know that technically it's extra fat cells- a cell which is used to store energy from food for use during times of famine. But as far as what it means socially- well that's a trickier one and seems to change every few years. As a result it's not enough to say that I'm a fat model or to tell people online that I'm fat because it doesn't seem to come across right and people are always a little struck when meeting me in person. Let me say this again- I am fat- not just curvy, not just a little squishy around the edges. I wear a size 22, I weigh 260 lbs at 5'8", I have rolls, cellulite, and plenty of jiggle.

More so I not only don't fit into a cookie cutter definition of beautiful, I also don't fit into a cookie cutter definition of fat or "plus size" because you know what else? I don't have big breasts. If you're shocked it's because it seems most fat people you see, especially plus size models, have large breasts- it helps with that hour glass figure. Photographers love it- cinch that waist and show off those hips and boobs.

I want to celebrate it and I want to show it off. I want to jump up and down and scream "hey! This is my body and I love it!" and you don't have to love it and you don't have to find it attractive and you certainly don't have to want to jump in my pants- but you do have to recognize that it's one body of many and that they're all different and all wonderful. And, most of all, you need to recognize that you do not have the right to shame people about their bodies, that you do not have the right to abuse or tear down someone, and that words are every bit as abusive as a fist. Bullying is part of a large problem of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse- abuse that ruins lives and even kills.

Celebrate your body- every part of it- and celebrate everyone else's body. These bodies are what take us through life and yes, they have limitations and sometimes they are sick or don't work like everyone else's, but they are uniquely yours and uniquely beautiful.


  1. Just more of you to love. :)

    And don't denigrate your breasts... You have very nice cleavage. :)

  2. Larry- I'm not denigrating! I don't think there's anything wrong with small breasts- i actually prefer them on other women- I'm just stating a fact which is that they are small compared to my body size and mostly compared to what people expect . Many people don't realize that fat does not necessary equal double D's or what have you.

  3. Your posts and pics are WONDERFUL! I am about the same weight/height as you and find your words to be very inspiring, and you yourself gorgeous. Thank you for the great blog! :)

  4. even if you are fat but still look beautiful, I like it