Friday, August 31, 2012

Summer Days and Bikinis

Here in NC, Summer isn't over yet. We still have plenty of warm days ahead of us full of tank tops and shorts and, yes, fatkinis. Bikini photos are hard for me, almost as hard as the nude photos that I've done since a bikini leaves very little to the imagination anyway. Most of my shoots focus on my face, my makeup, my costume, but I feel like bikini shoots take that focus and expressly put it square onto my stomach.

My stomach has always caused me problems even from the times when it barely existed. At 17 I wore a size 15/16 with barely a belly bulge at all and yet I cried before prom because I thought I was too fat to go because of my stomach.

I could spend all day wishing my shape was different. That my weight was proportioned into an hourglass figure or that my belly was round instead of rolly. I can and have spent years of my life on diet and exercise plans trying to change that belly, spent hours in front of mirrors lifting it and pulling it this way and that thinking "if only...". I tell you this because despite these issues I've had and still have with  my stomach, I post these photos for you so that you know it's okay. No matter what size or shape you are, it's all going to be alright. In a fatkini or a one piece, your body is beautiful and magnificent and so amazing it's beyond words. And I'm still trying to work on it, but so is mine.

Photos by MM Photography











16 comments:

  1. Gorgeous! Now I want to go to the lake. Also, you have a fantastic ass. Just FYI.

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  2. U ARE LUCKY- A SOFT ROLLED BBW BELLY IS FAR SEXIER THAN A ROUND HARD PREGNANT- TYPE BELLY THAT SMALLER FRAMED WOMEN TEND TO GET. I LIKE THE JPEG OF SEXY BBW BACK, IN BLACK BIKINI.

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  3. These are lovely! As a fellow big-belly-haver, who also spent way too much time hating mine, I really appreciate pictures like these.

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    1. thank you :) i hope that you too have come to love your belly

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  4. I think you are lovely! As a BBW myself, who is older than you, this was my first year in a bikini in forever! I love my fatkini and while, I thought I would be unable to wear it, I have worn it and felt quite free and happy in it. I still have moments of hating my body, but they are much fewer than they used to be, thanks to women like you!

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    1. thank you so much! :) fatkinis are awesome aren't they? so liberating! I was so self conscious the first time i wore mine but as soon as i hit the water... i just felt free. :)

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  5. You and I have the same body! And with that being said, I love to see it represented in ways like this.

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    1. fantastic! I was just thinking today how we need to see more fat bodies like our own. I wonder how alike or different my body is from the bodies of other fat men and women. Anyway, yay for kindred bodies!

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  6. These are lovely. Be at peace with yourself the rest will fall in line.
    [Suggestion: Eat more almonds and plenty of leafy and raw foods. No soda but seltzer. Nourishment is peace.]

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    1. thank you and thank you for your suggestions. I would like to politely say though that we shouldn't be telling anyone else how to eat... if you love yourself and eat intuitively then you are nourishing your body. I love raw foods (and hate almonds) and have even dabbled in raw veganism, but that's my choice, and mine alone.

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  7. Thank you so much for posting this, I have often struggled with looking at my body in a way of love not hatred. Your photos are BEAUTIFUL and help me to see myself in a more kind and beautiful light as well. That means a lot to me. I truly appreciate you and this blog.


    @bibimimi - Ummmm .... how do you know she doesn't already do those things? It seems to me you are making a judgement that is honestly steeped in fat bigotry just by seeing her photos and deciding what her eating habits are just by the prejudice you might have against fat people. If you had even looked at her FAQ section you would see that she is a vegetarian and no where have I seen anything that says anything about how much soda she may or may not consume. I could be wrong and you might be on a close friend basis with her in which you know what and how she eats, although if that was true I can't imagine ever saying something like that to my friend on a public blog like this. Even if she doesn't eat a lot of almonds or leafy raw foods there might be a very good reason for it, as in they might make her body feel awful. Once again sorry if I am reading the situation wrong and you are her personal friend but really only the person living in a body can know and decide how to best nourish and take care of themselves it really isn't anyone elses business.

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    1. thank you so much and i'm glad that something i did helped you! and thank you for your second comment as well. You're right, food policing is a no no here. :)

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  8. I am a plus size woman [wearing size 26 most days] and my fiance is constantly frustrated by my negative self talk. He tells me I'm beautiful everyday, especially when we're in bed or after a shower, when I'm nude and feeling my most ugly/vulnerable. I never understood what he could possibly be seeing that made him think I was beautiful... until I saw these pictures. You are GORGEOUS! and even though all I can see is my fat when I look in the mirror, I'm starting to understand that he sees ALL of me. Thank you.

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    1. thank you! I'm so glad these photos have helped you. If I may suggest, the book Lessons From the Fat O Sphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby helped me tremendously... if you get a chance, check it out!

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  9. Hi, I am a 16 year old girl and I too have body issues. I have always felt left out of everything because I was always the bigger child-the odd one out. I have gone through a lot of abuse physicaly and emotionally by other kids. I have suffered fro. Depression, anxiety,and stress and am always trying to find new ways to change my appearmace and loose weight because I just don't understand hoe anyone can look at me and not see how fat I am. I still font believe I am anywhere near good enough but I would just like to say that seeing these photos has really inspired me and boosted my confidence that maybe it is possible to see past looks and that what you see- to some people- can appear beautiful. Thankyou so much!

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    1. thank you for sharing! When I was 16 I had no one to look up to, no plus size women who were confident or comfortable with their bodies. You've got a head start on me! I didn't find fat acceptance until I was 25 and I'm so glad that you can see what's possible.. and i hope you find that place in yourself <3

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