No Resolutions

My end of year has been fantastic so far. I know it's not quite over yet, but I spent my final month visiting NYC and taking some great photos of beautiful women. New. York was amazing. I went to Rockefeller plaza and saw the giant tree (while being squished like a sardine!), went through time square and Chinatown, walked through central park, ate amazing food, went to the American Museum of Natural History, saw the Statue of Liberty, and spent way too much time on the subway.




 Then I was spending time with family for the holidays which included getting a new lemon beagle named Lenard whom we rescued from a local shelter. He's the best, sweetest dog in the world and I'm not even a dog person.

The holidays were beyond great. Everyone gave and received wonderful and thoughtful gifts- I gave my brother's girlfriend a book called Crafting With Cat Hair and she absolutely was thrilled with it.

There was some slight stress when we woke up and out heat was out right after we came back from NY, but I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve and staying up until midnight and kissing someone at that strike of 12.

One thing I won't be doing though? Making a resolution for the new year. Partly because most of them through my life consisted of weight loss goals- this year I'll join a gym, this year I'll stick to that diet (eating disorder), this year I'll lose 50lbs, this year I swear, i SWEAR, I'll hate myself until I'm socially acceptable. Well, for the past four years I've made the decision not to make any resolution. Not only because some research suggests that they just plain don't work, but because I have nothing to strive for that I don't already strive for all year.

Being healthy, happy, and making the world a better place. Loving myself more as much as possible, even when that means just maintaining a little self esteem in a world that insists I am worthless. But how do you survive the constant onslaught of resolutions about body hate? Well, I passive aggressively post body positive updates on social media and make snide replies like "I don't have a resolution because I love myself as I am!". I don't make comments about their resolutions or get down on them, but rather I focus on myself and how happy I am and try to set a good example.

I hope that, this year, your resolution, if you have one, is to continually try to love yourself and your body. That's not always easy, especially if your body feels like it betrays you like in the case of chronic illness for example. Trust me, I know. But loving yourself is worth it. I'm personally looking forward to a great year in 2015 and I hope you are too.

A New Year

Tomorrow is the last day of 2013. I still have Christmas songs stuck in my head and I'm not quite ready for 2014. I do not make resolutions for each new year. Studies show that they don't work anyway. But what I'm going to do this year is set a goal. Not an unrealistic goal that I'll beat myself up over if I don't achieve it (like we do with resolutions which ends up in a habitual cycle of hope, failure, and self loathing). My goal is to love myself even more. But, fat girl posing, don't you already love yourself wholly and completely? God, I wish. Yes, even I, who pose naked and then post those photos on the internet for people to see, am not totally at peace with myself.

by Travis McKeithan

Yesterday my husband said something about my, um, large posterior. Despite the fact that he was talking positively about it, it cut me. I guess I had this image in my head of myself and, yes, my giant ass, but I secretly hoped no one else had that same image of me. Which means I'm maybe not as far along on my self acceptance journey as I thought. Maybe if I had an ideally shaped fat frame (like the hour glass frame with a round booty) I'd be more at peace with myself. That's not an excuse though... self acceptance is about accepting yourself regardless of your shape. So, flat ass or no, I should be loving every inch of it. Hubby certainly does, so why can't I?

So that's my new year's goal. To love my big ass, my small breasts, my thick thighs, and every other part of me. I've come such a long way from self hatred and an eating disorder to fat activist and model. I'm not giving up now. I have so many wonderful fat activist and body positive friends whom I can go to for support or just to complain. I'm so thankful for every single reader and fan that I have on this blog and all of the support and love that you offer.

So, while this year is ending and another one is beginning, it gives us all an opportunity to be a little kinder to ourselves, to love ourselves a little more and, for the love of everything good, to ditch the diet resolutions. Weight loss is the number one resolution every new year's and also the number one failure. Why? Because diets don't work, no, not even if you call them "lifestyle changes". So make your goal to love your body, no matter what. All the rolls and wrinkles and dimples, the hills and the plains. Every part of you is special and beautiful. Every part of me is special and beautiful. Now, I just have to remember that for the rest of 2014. And I know I will will the support of my loved ones, friends, and, of course, all of you.