Resolutions

In the past, I've made it clear that New Year's Resolutions not only don't work, but are often toxic. Weight loss resolutions are the number one resolutions every January and we all know how toxic those are already. This year, however, I'm going to amend my statement and say that Resolutions can be healthy and good for you- if you resolve to not obsess over your resolutions and you keep your resolutions away from being self critical. Obviously stay away from weight loss resolutions- this fat girl is never going to diet again! But here are my top resolutions for the coming year.

     1) Focus on my health. This doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to change how I eat or even exercise, though those are on my list. But it also means that I'm going to resolve to find a way to start seeing my therapist again, to make all of my doctor's appointments, to take my medication as I'm supposed to, to be mindful and focus on my mental health, and to work on my PTSD.

     2) Do more things that I enjoy. This includes writing more on this blog, editing the book that I finished for NaNoWriMo 2015, crafting, gardening, yoga, bellydance, baking, hiking, sitting by the fire pit with a bottle of wine and the people I love, and more.

     3) Focus on not allowing things to interfere with projects. This is mostly in reference to photography and modeling projects that I'm looking forward to. Unfortunately, depression can steal the love of everything from you and make you completely unmotivated. In 2015 I've let that stop me from photographing or being photographed. Specifically I took a six month break from The Fat Naked Art Project . I'll start posting to it again on New Year's Eve and resolve to post every week and schedule new shoots throughout the year.

     4) Make more time for friends, family, and partners. This one is pretty self explanatory. I resolve to spend time with my loved ones, take road trips to see friends, cuddle with my son, go on dates that I enjoy, and generally make sure that I am present in the lives of the people I love.

     5) Stop being so hard on myself,  This one is the hardest and the most important because it includes resolving to not care so much about my resolutions. If I slip up and don't take my meds for a week, if I need to take another break from projects, if I'm a little too hard on myself... that's okay! I'm not perfect, I will never be perfect, and it's okay to mess up, to be selfish, to drop projects. It's okay to just let life happen. I think this resolution is essential to making resolutions healthy and workable.

Those are my resolutions. If you're planning on making resolutions, do so remembering that you may not follow through and there's nothing wrong with that. I'd love to hear all of your resolutions or even that you aren't making any! Regardless, I hope that you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve and Day and a great 2016 full of body love and positivity.

A New Year

Tomorrow is the last day of 2013. I still have Christmas songs stuck in my head and I'm not quite ready for 2014. I do not make resolutions for each new year. Studies show that they don't work anyway. But what I'm going to do this year is set a goal. Not an unrealistic goal that I'll beat myself up over if I don't achieve it (like we do with resolutions which ends up in a habitual cycle of hope, failure, and self loathing). My goal is to love myself even more. But, fat girl posing, don't you already love yourself wholly and completely? God, I wish. Yes, even I, who pose naked and then post those photos on the internet for people to see, am not totally at peace with myself.

by Travis McKeithan

Yesterday my husband said something about my, um, large posterior. Despite the fact that he was talking positively about it, it cut me. I guess I had this image in my head of myself and, yes, my giant ass, but I secretly hoped no one else had that same image of me. Which means I'm maybe not as far along on my self acceptance journey as I thought. Maybe if I had an ideally shaped fat frame (like the hour glass frame with a round booty) I'd be more at peace with myself. That's not an excuse though... self acceptance is about accepting yourself regardless of your shape. So, flat ass or no, I should be loving every inch of it. Hubby certainly does, so why can't I?

So that's my new year's goal. To love my big ass, my small breasts, my thick thighs, and every other part of me. I've come such a long way from self hatred and an eating disorder to fat activist and model. I'm not giving up now. I have so many wonderful fat activist and body positive friends whom I can go to for support or just to complain. I'm so thankful for every single reader and fan that I have on this blog and all of the support and love that you offer.

So, while this year is ending and another one is beginning, it gives us all an opportunity to be a little kinder to ourselves, to love ourselves a little more and, for the love of everything good, to ditch the diet resolutions. Weight loss is the number one resolution every new year's and also the number one failure. Why? Because diets don't work, no, not even if you call them "lifestyle changes". So make your goal to love your body, no matter what. All the rolls and wrinkles and dimples, the hills and the plains. Every part of you is special and beautiful. Every part of me is special and beautiful. Now, I just have to remember that for the rest of 2014. And I know I will will the support of my loved ones, friends, and, of course, all of you.

Happy New Year everyone! Welcome 2012!

costume from last night's masquerade ball 

Happy New Year! Wow, is it 2012 already? 2011 was a special year to me; it was my first full year of body acceptance and fat activism. My first exposure to fat acceptance was in October of 2010 so most of my year was spent hating my body with horribly destructive habits. In 2011 I got to go through it all- making new friends, having to move, parties, holidays.. all being fat and happy the entire time. Wow, how completely liberating! 2011 was a good year for me.

No, I don't have a new year's resolution and I don't plant to. Most resolutions fail (I wonder how much of this failure is because one of the top resolutions is weight loss which, itself, fails 95% of the time?) and most are focused on our flaws and what we need to change about ourselves. More so, though, it sets you up for disappointment if you can't go through with it. I feel confident that I can change and progress and do some awesome things in the coming year without making promises to myself or anyone else . This year, I'm going to try to just be. I get the whole 'new beginnings' metaphor, but really.. any time can be a time for new beginnings and any time can be a time for progress and change.

If you're going to make a resolution, make it to love, respect, and appreciate your body more from now on. And that's a goal that's good all year round. This is a time for diet scams and false weight loss promises- so counter it with some of your own fat activism