Fatphobia, Ableism, and the Thin Privilege Voice

Years ago, I posted a video on youtube. I had seen a sign for a child's fat camp (weight loss program) and it pissed me off. I pulled into the next parking lot, walked, and took the sign, throwing it into into my trunk. Once home, I spray painted it to read "Give the gift of no diets", as it was near Christmas time. I literally received thousands of comments (they were moderated and never made it onto the actual video). They ranged anywhere from death and rape threats, to name calling, to vague future health threats, and even accusations of being a terrorist. I'm not kidding- a terrorist. Because, as their logic went, I was engaging in the mass killings of fat children by wanting them to remain fat. Interesting how twisted a fatphobe's logic is considering that fatphobia and stigma kill fat more children than fat ever has.

Still, the number one comments I got were on m breathing- heavy breathing specifically. The trolls took this as proof that I was too fat and needed to exercise and lose weight.

I have a condition, as some of you know already, called POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). It means that as my posture changes, from lying to standing, my heart rate increases by at least 30 beats per minute, usually causing tachycardia (a heart rate of over 100). A normal heart rate for a woman my age is 60-100bpm. My standing heart rate is about 20-40 over that just from standing up.  Even mild exercise can make my heart go through the roof. Walking gently and leisurely can raise my HR up to almost 200bpm, which is the same predicted heart rate of a woman my age who is engaging in extreme exercise and is the maximum rate a heart should go. So, for me, walking slowly on even ground, is about the same as running a marathon for someone else. Have you ever seen someone run a marathon and not get winded? Yeah, me neither. (Oh, did I mention that fainting is included for someone with POTS? So pushing myself to exercise as my heart rate pushes 200 is very dangerous).

But that's not the kicker. People were observing that a light stroll shouldn't make a person breath so heavily. They were correct. But, the didn't account for illnesses which cause heavy breathing, especially in bitter cold weather. (For example, I could just as likely have had asthma, a much more common breathing issue than POTS.) I'm not saying any of this to justify myself or be the "good fatty" because fuck that. It's simply a bit of backstory.

Still, after about 4K comments or so, I posted a small comment about this condition. The response? The called bullshit. Suddenly all of those trolls were medical doctors. Comments ranged from trying to explain POTS to me (poorly), as to say it doesn't cause breathing issues, or people flat out saying I was lying about the condition.

This isn't the first time this has happened.

I have a list of medical diagnoses which numbers slightly less than two dozen. Several of which cause weight gain and other symptoms include exercise intolerance, heat intolerance, chronic pain (my joints don't hurt because I'm fat, the hurt because I'm a chronic illness patient), and so much more.

My point is this: when you're fat, people ignore you when you say you're sick. Unless you have a stereotypical "fattie" illness like heart disease or diabetes, then you're truthful, but deserve your illnesses. You're especially lying if you have thyroid disease or any other illnesses that create symptoms they'd  rather mock someone for. When you're fat, you're only allowed to be sick in the was that are deemed fatty acceptable. If you say you don't have those issues then you're lying. If you say you have other "non fat" issues, then you're lying. Fatphobia is inherently ableist (as well as misognistic which I've discussed before). Remember that when fat people die of heart disease, they died of being fat and the had it coming. When thin people die of heart disease it was a fight, a struggle that they lost, a tragedy.

Where does the thin privilege come in? Easy, if a thin person said they had any of the illnesses I have, they'd be believed, listened to, given sympathy, and get treatment and care by medical professionals. The same people accusing me of lying would be signing petitions for POTS research for thin people.

Thin people who consider themselves allies are in the position where the can use their voices to educate fatphobes- because they'll be listened to. Not always, maybe not even most of the time, but more than us fatties could ever hope to be listened to. Here, it gets iffy though. Because thin people should never speak over fat people, and yet their voices hold more power, more sway. Thin allies have to figure out was to speak for us, without speaking over us, and lifting up the voices of fat people in the process. I know, being an ally isn 't easy. But know what's even harder? Being fat. Add being a disabled woman on top of being fat and it's not an easy life. Just look at all of the health issues that chronic stress can cause- from joint pain to increased risk of heart attack and stroke.

I know this post is long and you maybe didn't want to hear about my chronic illnesses. You wanted some in-your-face truths about fatphobia and thin privilege and ableism. But the truth is that I'm tired. I'm worn out from being attacked ever day and not being able to defend myself and having no one come to my defense.

You, my thin privileged friends, are lacking in your responsibilities. I want to say that I expect more from you, but I don't. I expect to fight this fight either alone or alongside other fatties. But hey, I wouldn't mind being surprised once in a while either.

Here's my point, one type of bigotry almost never shows up to the party by itself. It brings friends. Fatphobia can often intersect with pretty much any other tpe of oppression. Fatphobia is not a single thing, by itself. This is why I feel weird when someone expresses fatphobic ideas and beliefs. I know that is not the only type of bigotry lurking. And fatphobia affects people on both sides of the political spectrum- so if your oh-so-progressive friend with privilege coming out of his ears decides to say something fatphobic, be assured that they are not the feminist the claim to be, they are not intersectional, as they claim to be, etc. And when they talk about intersectional issues, but don't mention fatphobia- be wary, be suspicious. And hey- call them out. That's your job now, okay?

It finally happened, I've been mocked on Reddit

Well, it's a new year and it's started out just right with having several of my photos posted on reddit to be mocked. Oh, hello 2014, what will you have in store for me? A sub titled "delusionalartists" is playing host to several of my photos with comments like "Not plus sized but multiplied size. Like multiplied exponentially." and "Being unhealthy isn't positive. Obesity acceptance might as we'll be called suicidal tendency acceptance." 

Most of the comments aren't too bad- they're criticizing the photographers and the style. Which is fine, I don't claim that every photo I post is a magazine shot because that's not the point (although I am pretty upset on the photographer's behalves). Body acceptance isn't about who has the best photos. There are lots of fatshion bloggers, for example, who have great quality photos and some who have point and shoot photos. And they're all still awesome photos, not because of the lighting or the poses, or the angles, but because it's showcasing fat bodies in a positive way. Maybe not positive to immature misogynists on reddit, but positive to the men and women who visit this blog and gain confidence and inspiration. 

The first comment in my examples above is, well, childish and typical. But I want to address the second comment because it's pretty fucking ableist. It not only ignores the fact that fat people, directly because of the abuse we face because of assholes like this, are more likely to develop mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety disorders, and eating disorders, but it mocks and diminishes the actual reality of suicide. Depression includes suicidal tendencies and ideation sometimes by the way. I think it's ironic that body acceptance (specifically fat acceptance) is often compared to suicide when so many fat people that I know who found fat acceptance have attempted or thought about suicide because of how much they hate their bodies and, having found acceptance for their bodies, no longer feel the need to take their own lives. I'm one of these people. I have several suicide attempts under my belt (and yes, I know, it's a big belt, har har) directly related to my hatred of my body and the abuse hurled at me simply for being fat. 

Many of you may already know my story, but for those of you who don't I was a pretty skinny child. As a youngster I was popular, had friends, had "boyfriends" (as much as one can have when you're six years old!), and lived a privileged school life (home life was a different matter, but anyway). When I was around 7 or 8, however, I developed severe depression, the first symptom of my bipolar disorder. I suddenly and inexplicably began gaining weight. A lot of weight. I gained about a hundred pounds in around three years. By the age of 10/11 I was wearing a women's size 22/24. Despite this I never saw a doctor or a therapist, or even a school counselor. It was assumed that I, for whatever reason, was at fault. So my home life became more abusive than it already was and school life became hell. I lost all of my friends and became the butt of jokes and pranks about my size. 

I attempted suicide at 10 years old. 

This isn't funny, random reddit user. Suicide isn't something you throw around to insult someone. Suicide and attempted suicide are a very serious reality for a lot of fat people, children, and their families. Studies have shown that children who even think they're fat (they don't have to actually even be fat) are at a greater risk of suicide. Whether size bigots want to admit it or not, fat acceptance and body acceptance saves lives. 

Even if being fat really were bad for my health, I would much rather live a happy life until the age of 60 than a miserable life to the age of 100. And, this isn't even taking into account that I likely would die from either my previous eating disorder or suicide far before the age of 60. So what's the real harm in helping people love themselves? That they're happier? How dare they! We all know that if you're not skinny you should be unhappy and wishing for death and thinness every second of the day right? 

I'm happy, my numbers are all excellent, I survived and recovered from an eating disorder, and I'm being treated for my bipolar and my hypothyroidism. My life is under control and I can say that I'll definitely live longer now than I would have had I continued hating my body (and boy, I didn't even get into the toll that emotional and mental stress take on your body!). 

I understand that some of these people truly are blinded by hatred or denial or just feeling uncomfortable with a woman who's happy with herself (women, didn't you know you're supposed to stay unhappy?). They may not be able to see that what I'm doing is a good thing that helps a lot of people, but this blog isn't for them, so hey, why should I care? I'll admit that seeing that post gave me pause and a rush of anxiety, but that quickly passed and now I'm pretty okay with it. Those types of people don't deserve the time of day from me to be honest and I just hope that one day they'll mature, grown, learn, and be more kind, accepting, and decent. We've almost all been in that place at some time or another- hating ourselves and hating other fat people for reminding us of why we should hate ourselves so much. We grew as people, we learned more information and, most importantly, we now know that people like that, their opinions don't matter. We can be happy in our own skin while the haters hate and we swim in our bikinis, wear our crop tops and leggings, and be free. Being held prisoner by society's opinions is not an option anymore for me. 

On Fat Child Abuse

It's been a little while since I've written a post and I woke up this morning with child abuse on my mind. Specifically the kind endured by a fat child by family and peers. I hesitate to call it bullying because that seems so mild and unassuming. Abuse is a better word for the physical assaults, the verbal abuse, and more that kids, and even adults, go through.

I was thinking of that video that was going around not too long ago of a straight girl in a world where gay is the norm. Now, I know a lot of queer folks had a problem with the video but this queer woman thought it was moving and emotionally devastating. I also thought "huh, how well that would work for fat kids too". I don't think a lot of people realize how much fat kids have in common with queer kids in the face of abuse from peers and classmates and even family.

Of course, unlike being queer, I could never hide that I was fat. I managed to make it all the way through high school with no one knowing I wasn't straight, but fat? Oh, everyone could see that (of course, not everyone can hide their sexuality either and when I did finally come out I got plenty of people denying I existed or telling me I was just confused and to just be straight already).

The abuse started when I began to lose friends as I gained weight. Pre weight gain (and I gained weight very suddenly and quickly- the doctors guess it went along with my bipolar symptoms first showing up) I was popular. I was really popular. I had tons of friends and "boyfriends" and everyone wanted to hang out with me. I was the talk of the class and sometimes the school. As I gained weight though my friends dropped to a lonely zero. That's right, I went from being popular with everyone wanting to be my friend to not a friend in the world (until around 5th grade when another fat girl moved to my class and we became instant best friends). Can you imagine how lonely that is for a socially outgoing little girl? So first, I became isolated. I felt completely alone and part of nothing. I was that kid every teacher worried about.

Then the verbal and emotional abuse. Fatty fatty two by four. Fake love letters or boys asking me out just to laugh at me in class. Fat slob. Worthless. Fatty. Oh, how fatty was a favorite.

Then the assaults. Yes, I was assaulted multiple times. I was beat up, I had two kids, Linda and Jason Rhodes were their names, who used to follow me home from school on their bikes, as I walked, and threw stones and bricks at me. I ignored them thinking it would make them stop and because I didn't know how to face them. It never stopped.

So, at 10 years old, I attempted suicide for the first time. It failed and no one, not even my family, ever knew about it. I want everyone, everyone, to stop and think about that for a second. Do you know a kid around that age? Were your own kids once that age or about to be? Can you imagine a kid.. just a child.. feeling so hopeless, worthless, unloved, and unneeded that they felt they had to take their own life? Have you ever touched a child's coffin? Ever seen parents weep for a lost child? Ever been close to the victim of a suicide? Please take a moment to truly consider this. Let it seep into your psyche, let it touch your core. Even I have a hard time fathoming this and it happened to me.

As I got older and kids were exposed to more of the world (meaning more violence) I began to get threats. Death threats. Threats of physical violence. Being told to kill myself. Even told to video tape it so everyone could watch. I became a cutter, constantly suicidal without knowing how to get rid of that pain except through more pain. I developed an eating disorder. Vomiting after meals, starving myself, abusing diet pills (isn't all diet pill use an abuse of them really? They're such nasty little things), over exercising. Even at a size 12 I was still bullied. I still thought I was huge. I had my eating disorder ignored because I was fat which made it good. Good to have daily fainting spells. Good to nearly kill myself. Good to risk a heart condition. Good because I was trying to be thin, no matter what the consequences.

And I want to be clear that the abuse wasn't just at school. My aunts, who were my main caregivers, made me feel worthless, often made fun of me, or made comments on my weight, were unsupportive. I had nowhere to hide. Home was almost as bad as school. I had no one to turn to for help. Add to that that my home environment was also physically abusive and I was afraid all of the time. Afraid and alone.

I want to emphasize that my story is not original, it's not unique, it's not a special snowflake of experience. Things like this happen to fat kids again and again and again. Sometimes worse. Sometimes those kids do take their lives successfully and people say it was because of bullying but they never say what kind- fatphobic bullying.  I'll say again that fat kids are often abuse in a number of ways- physically assaulted, chased home, beat up, living in fear. Verbally assaulted with names and cruelty that mimics or bests any domestic violence situation, verbal abuse to cut you down, to make you feel like nothing, worthless. Threats of violence, of rape - how about being told that your rape doesn't count because as a fatty you should feel lucky to have someone have sex with you? It happens. Being told to kill yourself. Sexual assault and harassment.

I love the new anti bullying programs across the country put in place to help and protect lgbt youth, I do. As someone who grew up as an lgbt youth and wishes I had the same protection as an adult, I think it's fantastic.  But I think we have to remember that fat bullying is an old as anyone can remember and kids killing themselves (or attempting to) for being fat has been around just as long as lgbt suicide. But people want to put one on a pedestal and ignore the other. I'm not in any way trying to play the Oppression Olypics, but as someone who's both queer and fat, I feel I can speak on the similarities to a degree -lgbt bullying can and does go further. For example being kicked out of their homes, or even risk of homicide. However, with the escalation of the OBESITYEPIDEMICBOOGABOOGA, with kids being taken out of their homes for being fat, with one UK woman recently attacked on public transit for being fat, I feel like it is only getting worse and more dangerous for fat kids and fat adults. Let's not forget that fat adults face all of the same possible dangers that fat kids face.

I'm writing all of this with a heaviness in my heart that I can't seem to make go away. I wish I could just impress upon everyone the seriousness of fat hate. You can't hate someone thin and, mostly importantly, you can't hate someone healthy. Hate can kill and I mean that with every drop of seriousness that I can muster. Your fatphobia can kill. Innocent, beautiful children. Children aren't born hateful, they're taught it. Hate is far more of a choice than fat will ever be.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Week

We just saw the end of Suicide Prevention Awareness week yesterday. I put off writing because I didn't know what to write. Most of you have read my personal struggles with suicide and you know that fat acceptance and body acceptance have been a miracle balm. What I've decided to write about is the "it's not my fault" mentality. For years I hung around suicide forums in hopes that I could help people either struggling with suicidal ideation or someone who had lost or was in danger of losing a loved one to suicide. What I saw over and over were people who bullied, abused, and neglected loved ones who wanted reassurance that the resulting suicide wasn't their fault. And people gave it to them. A common thread is to say that nothing could have stopped them.

I don't know who started this line of BS but I want to set things straight. You can help prevent suicide. No, you can't prevent every case, but people who are suicidal aren't lost causes. They just want the pain to stop and, believe me, the amount of pain they're in is tremendous. More so, if you bully, abuse, or neglect a person who's suicidal then you are part of that person's pain and you are contributing, directly or indirectly, to their suicide. I'm sorry, but this "it's not my fault" stuff is fluff that people tell you to make you feel better. It's not truth.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline says " No matter who you are, you can help prevent suicide". This is the real truth. 

Tips on preventing suicide:

If you are suicidal:

• Talk to someone. It doesn't matter if it's a school counselor, a therapist, a parent, a best friend, or the suicide hotline. Talking can help you to calm down and perhaps find long term help.
• Take it one day at a time. You want to kill yourself today? Wait until tomorrow. Then wait another day. Then another. Every day is a battle and an achievement. 
• Keep a journal or diary
• Be around other people. Being alone only increases feelings of isolation and the feelings that no one would care. When you're around others you not only keep yourself busy, but you see how much your friends love you. 
• seek out support groups and other resources on suicide prevention such as reddit.com/r/suicidewatch or http://www.dailystrength.org. 
• visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ where you can call or chat with someone if you're in crisis. 

Personal tricks I've learned to help myself stay in a stable mood:

• open all of the curtains and, when the weather allows, the windows
• look up when you walk, not down
• spend time in nature
• exercise regularly and eat healthfully
• If low self esteem at all revolves around your looks, seek out fat and body acceptance resources. 

If a loved one is suicidal:

• Never dismiss or invalidate their feelings. They're feeling like this for a reason.
• Take this very very seriously. 
• Encourage them to seek help such as a therapist or school counselor. If you are a parent then it is your responsibility to make an appointment as soon as possible. 
• Talk to them and really listen 
• Remind them how much you love them
• If you've been part of the problem or you have influence over someone who has been stop immediately. Whether it's bullying, teasing, verbal nit picking- whatever. If you're a parent and a sibling of your child is bullying them, intervene immediately. Perhaps get the bully into therapy as well. 
• Visit http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm 

Suicide can be prevented. Remember the old Smokey the Bear saying, "only you can prevent forest fires"? Only you can help prevent suicide. It's important to remember that suicidal people don't want to die, they want the pain to stop, therefore you have every opportunity to intervene and let them know that their pain isn't permanent and it can be helped. More so, I can't stress enough that the bullies and abusers (same thing really) of the world are responsible for the self harming actions of their victims whether it be self injury, attempted or completed suicide, or their mental well being. Don't say "it's not my fault", ask "what can I do to help?". 

What's it like to be a 200lb 8 year old?

So this story has been making the rounds and I'm sure you've all seen it- 200lb third grader put into foster care. People are talking an awful lot about what constitutes child abuse, throwing in quite a bit of vague future health threats. They're calling it medical neglect and insisting that he's in imminent danger despite any actual evidence of any life threatening danger. The whole thing started when the boy's mother took him to the ER because he couldn't breathe (medical neglect? That seems pretty responsible to me). It turned out that he had sleep apnea, something that thin people as well and can be treated and controlled. Even if his sleep apnea was proven to be caused by his fat, it doesn't matter since we don't know how to make fat people thin.

 What terrifies me is how many parents also agree with this decision (try hanging around some parenting message boards where this is being discussed.. whew! You have to save up your mental health points for that one!) and how few people are actually thinking about how this will effect the child. Fat people, including children, are often dehumanized and objectified (sexual objectification is not the only way to objectify someone). We are reduced to our bodies, to our fat, rarely being seen as actual human beings. But for this boy, he has to live the real life consequences of stigma and discrimination. While the boy's identity has been kept secret to protect him (not that he's currently being protected thanks to the system that removed him from his home), below is a photo of another eight year old boy who was 200+ lbs, Connor McCreaddie.

How fat is this really? It sort of blows my mind that this is what everyone's ruffled about. It's true that you don't often come across a child this large, but it's not exactly new either. More so, it's not a death sentence. The number of people who have proclaimed, as if it's fact, that the boy removed from his home would be dead by 30 without intervention, is ridiculous. I've posted it before, but here's a photo of me from the beginning of my 6th grade year at 10 years old:

Ignore the 80's style dress and gigantic glasses and take a look at how fat I was. By this time I was actually about the same size I am now- a size 22 or so. And, while the vast majority of kids in my school were slimmer than I, there were two children who were larger. I'll be 30 in a few years and I don't have any "obesity related" diseases and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to drop dead by 29. But if all fat people drop dead before they turn 30 someone really needs to tell all of the fat old people, including my fat 83 year old grandmother, that they've somehow outstayed their welcome among the living. Silly fat people, didn't they know they weren't supposed to live that long?

Now, full disclosure, I didn't weigh quite as much as the little boy being taken away from his family. I weighed closer to 150lbs. I think, it's safe to say however, that at a size 22/24 at 10 years old, I was pretty fat. While reading comments about how this boy's been treated I'be seen a lot of people accuse the mother of feeding the child a terrible diet that made him pack on the pounds. I grew up with two, slim, siblings who ate exactly as I did. We were all only a year apart in age (with myself being in the middle) so our diets were almost identical. Same school lunches, same after school snacks, same meals at home. And we were banned from snacking between meals. We had the same chores, all ran around like wild things during recess, and all had the same activity level. So why was I fat and they were slim? I'm sure there are a hundred and one things that could have caused my weight gain, but that didn't stop people from blaming me, just as they tend to do now, but the fact is there is nothing my mother could have done because there was nothing that was different about me other than my fatness.

This child already has to face bullying from peers. He seems lucky that he has a loving mother and doesn't get bullied at home as well. By the time this photo was taken I had already been fat for about two years. I already blamed myself, blamed my body, and hated them both. I started weighing myself and dieting thinking, "if I can stay this weight and not gain anymore then I'll grow into it".  The emotional turmoil that led to self destructive behaviors that I experienced is likely nothing to what I would have experienced had I been taken away from my home because of my weight.

This child, this eight year old child, will blame himself for what's happened. I realize that fat children often seem older than they are, just as tall children seem older as well. A friend has a young child who's two heads taller than the other kids his age and everyone who deals with him has to constantly remind themselves to treat him like a five year old, not a seven or eight year old. No one's really considering how this child feels nor do I think they truly grok that he's only 8. I want every single person to just stop and think back to when they were that age, really remember it. Playing with your friends on the playground, holidays with your loved ones, field trips, vacation. Now think about being taken away from them, put with strangers, only allowed to see your parents or siblings for a couple of hours a week, all because you could do something right, because you couldn't change enough. You, you, you. You failed, all your fault. Now why, why, would you think it's okay to do that to a child who is loved and wanted?

And to all of the people who say that this boy will, without a doubt, get diabetes and heart disease, I put myself forth. I never developed either. Maybe I'm not quite thirty, but I have no signs of developing them either with my cholesterol, blood pressure, and blood sugar all well within the normal range. It's not a guarantee. Fat doesn't guarantee poor health or death and him losing weight certainly wouldn't guarantee good health or a long life.


200 lbs. Yes, that's fat, but it's not so far outside the realms of reality that we need this moral crusade. Shame on everyone who would destroy this child's life, with no actual consideration of his well being beyond the borg like thought "he needs to be thin", bleated out by sheeple who haven't bothered to actually consider the consequences of what's being done. Shame on those who dehumanize a child, reduce him down to his body without a single thought towards his mind or his wholeness as a human being. Shame on those who demonize a struggling mother simply trying to do the best that she can while being threatened with the worst thing a mother could ever go through- losing a child. This case is being handled and commented upon with an almost sociopathic lack of empathy. Put yourself in this child's shoes- just for a second, and remember that he is a human being and he deserves the love of his family.

When is okay to laugh at the disabled?

Answer: NEVER

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when I read an article about how the hit TV show, Tosh.0, may inadvertently be helping the lgbt community lessen homophobia. Tosh.0 is a modern day version of America's Funniest Home Videos except that the videos are youtube videos. Seeing as my browser rarely lets me watch videos inside of blogs I went directly to youtube to watch the video of Daniel Tosh and his coworkers popping viagra and watching hardcore gay porn which, unfortunately, alerted me to this video:

transcript:
Tosh: When is it okay to laugh at the disabled?
video of two fat women in electric wheelchairs going down the road with one wheelchair hooked to the first. [laughter]
Tosh: now, now, now!
video replays
Tosh: if train A leaves walmart going 1 mile an hour... good thing she swung for the tow package on that rascal. And I see mom's wearing her going out tarp [laughter]. Shame on you for laughing. I don't find these jokes funny. Whenever I see someone in a wheelchair I always offer them a ride
video clip of a truck towing a long series of wheelchairs behind it with the last wheelchair turned over and being dragged with no one inside.
Tosh: 98% of them made it to their destination safely

So when is okay to make fun of the disabled? Well when they're fat of course!  Because then you know it's their own fault- unlike that football player who became completely paralyzed during a game.. no, he didn't put himself in that situation at all. Being a football player is genetic and being fat is a choice you know. At 0:17 you can see the second woman flip off the camera guy- good for her! And I sincerely hope with every bit of my being that she went home, got on a fat acceptance support group and was able to get pissed off with lots of people supporting her. Not only was she recorded by some random asshole in a car just for having the audacity to appear in public while fat but the video went viral and ended up on a national TV show.

I can't even begin to articulate why this is so disgusting. Not only do they have no idea why these women are fat or why they are disabled, but even if they did, it doesn't give them the right to emotionally and psychologically abuse these women. And I hope it truly hits home how severe the word "abuse" is because I mean it in it's most serious form. These men are using sizism, sexism, classism, and ableism to oppress and grievously injure complete strangers who have does nothing to them except  dare to appear in their line of vision.

Bigotry 101: if your sentence starts with "when is okay to laugh at" followed by an oppressed group then you should probably stop right there.